The Beverage Botch Up Inebriated Babies Blunder

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Good Day my fine friends today’s picture highlights an incident from an occasion when I had been called upon to act as temporary guardian of this trio of teeny tots whilst the offspring’s, notably prolific parents had ventured out for an evening of musical relief.   All faired well until one infant, apparently consumed with a bout of griping innards, did bawl and holler with indefatigable endeavour resulting in a trio type tirade of tantrums of terrific tune.

Yours, alarmed, truly did ones best to recall the nursery regulations administered by the, gadding-about-having-a-ball, parental types and with great relief I did root out the vessels of apparently special-formula beverage from the refrigerator which the little darlings, after a number of unruly activities that necessitated tremendous restraining forces, devoured as would a hungry horse cured of lock jaw and my good self felt as if I had been mugged by hoods such was the ferocity which they relieved me of I now realise the bottles of bender beverage.

Well such miraculous liquid fodder had a fast and favourable effect on the gaggle of ravenous rascals and yours, inquisitive, truly decided to partake of an imbibe and polished of a brace of bottles in a trice.

Well the prolific and partying parental types returned to this scene of their trio of intoxicated infants in a slumbered state in the land of nod and would you believe the, ingrates, embarked on a furore of a feisty and almost foul type tirade and did screech “My babes are blottoed you barmy brain-bereft bumpkin”

To which I replied “M’lay-hick-dee you appear `hick` to be sshorley miffed despite my I believe `hick` most professhhional endeavourszz to keep them rounded `hick` up, entertained `hick` and well foddered up `hick`,   “Madam if you could do me the courteshhy of standing schtill whilst I address you it would both be greatly `hick` appresshhiated and would thwart an imminent innard upheaval.”    I went on to state `If your bairns are `hick` inebriated M’aam then I lay the blame `hick` in itssh entirety upon your good sshhelf as your parting wordssh `hick` were, to be sshhpecific` there are 6 bottles of special formula in the refrigerator.   Therefore when yours truly ventured to `hick` dutifully seek the said special formula, out of a necessity `hick` to nurture your bairnsshhh there were indeed `hick` 6 neatly packed bottlesshh of, I must say, not simply special but marvoulousshly incredible type formula that has rendered all partieshhh to a state of perfected comfort“.

M’Laydee replied “ Look at the state of them you dunderhead why I’ll have your hide for this”

“M’aam if you do not mind I must state that One, There isshh `hick` a rather calming air of `hick` enviable content upon their persons and two, frankly I cannot `hick` bear to look upon another `hick` bambino type until a `hick` considerable passhhage of time has elapshhed, why! I’m full up to `hick` brimming with the ssight of sssuch and feel my daysssh of minding munckinshh mussst be quelled ash I am quite fatigued from ssssuch an endeavour of unruly kinder control `hick`.   Note how one rashhcally rouge had been in mid essccape bid `hick` well thanks be to the universe, the inebriating effects did take their toll before a successh had occurred.   However, not I sshtate, before an incredible `hick` amount of endeavour on my part had been executed to keep `hick` the cad in check why I sshwear a full bashket, nay two bashketsh of unruly pupsh would have drained less of my `hick` now depleted energy.    I fear he perhapsh feelsh an inadequacy or defiant streak due to the pashtel hue of his harbour of comfort when hish shiblings `hick` have been fortuitoush to have snazzier neshts`   Whilst shome might argue thish `hick` that it could encourage an individual and shtrengthened character, I fear I must warn you `hick` of the mental repercussions of shuch prejudice.

There followed a further tirade but yours, as ever charitable, truly not desiring to be soured and afflicted with a spiteful nature due to such a torrent still paid the proud parents a compliment as to the common sense on their part as to lack of coif of each almost barren headed bambino as such a close crop was indeed a most a sanitary one.

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