The Misappropriate Use of Cat Catastrophe

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Good Day my fine friends, I can fair see you reeling and hear your exclamations of awwwwwww poor kitty on your peruse of this picture, well I assure you I felt the same when I chanced upon the poor, poor pet.

Yes apparently some bounder had, for comic effect, a fiscally beneficial wager or perhaps some significant bounty offered by an entertainment channel made an inappropriate use of a cat and beverage vessel as a consequence of cramming this cute kitty into this glass of drinking type and yours `the ever chivalrous chum` was aiding his escape.

However during his plight the perturbed pet did, admittedly with apparent difficulty, squirm, wriggle and writhe and create such a kafuffle and clamouring of claws that yours truly had to place boundaries on the limit of brotherhood as I bore no intention of acquiring an unsightly hand display from a maniacal-mauling-by-moggy.

The unfortunate kitty had due to his shimmied attempt to escape brought about the effect of the, perfectly innocent to you and I, insignia on the exterior of the glass apparently prancing about in a tantamount to a wickedly tantalising mocking effect as its reverse imagery had, in the pets understandably paranoid state, the apparition of a face of devilment which as a consequence freaked out the feline to such severity he had to visit a `professional` that treats disorders of mental and emotional type, for a number of months. To boot, due to such confined and continuous movement his feline fur bore such a detriment that he demanded, due to a resulting and unfortuous compulsive disorder, to have his tresses brushed every hour on the hour to ensure the memory of his flattened matted coif stayed deeply irretrievably buried, the omitting of one brush-type-bout brought back horrors too heinous for you to hear of.

Suffice to say the incident is not without other consequences of inadvertent type and as such, should any thing or being loom too close, grimace, grin, hover or sport a covering of hair fur or fluff of entangled type it doth catapult kitty back into a nightmarish blur of frayed, frazzled and violently jangled nerves which brings about embarasment to all parties when in the presence of, but not, limited to, clowns, punks, anything of alien character, fashionable habitat furnishings of particular type and when an elderly laydee having misplaced her spectacles did as a result venture to a-much-too-close proximity all hell was let loose and litigation resulted. To conclude he flatly refused to enter the family habitat via his kitty flap due to an understandable fear of confined space and should any personage dare to imbibe from a vessel of certain type within any visual distance of this pet he transforms into a, hissing, spitting flying fur-ball of feral ferociousness, fit to fight to the death type.

Well a M’laydee, claiming proprietary rights to the captivated kitty, did appear and bandy vicious, yes truly vicious, defamatory accusations upon my good-self regarding this fettered feline fiasco, well, yours truly being of a renowned wimpish character and prey to a faint at the onslought of an inflamed fury did reach to a table of decorative but still quite sturdy type to steady my assaulted person in an attempt to curry favour, sympathy or distraction to secure a means of escape.

Thankfully!, errm, oops a negligent slip of the tongue, sadly Le chat was traumatised to such a state he has to this day no recollect of what rascally type did perpetrate this act. There was one brief moment when, most, all did hope for a breakthrough as he endeavoured in his still-mute state to portray through the art of mime enough description to shop the bounder who had practised this mischiefry. Well twas apparently some cad with overly large optical organs a bulbous appendage for nasal activity and a toothy, apparently sinister though I personally felt he sounded rather handsome, grin
was the decription he managed to articulately gesticulate, well I did suggest an end to this poppycock as twas preposterous, this could well be any number of the massed world throng and I said I must intervene in this distressing inquisition and said lets be having none of this malarkey for his sanity’s sake

"Let's let sleeping dogs lie, move on, go forward, be positive, put the past behind, be in the now"

Well I must be being off dear reader as I have just chanced upon a new site of entertainment type all I need is a willing, preferably, assistant and some……….. lemmeout funny signiture

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