of the day
Good Wednesday to you my fine friends, today’s pictorial image whilst hopefully bringing about a moment of mirth to your good selves twas inadvertently at the expense of my wretched pet pal here. Said pal was wallowing, way-over-the-head-deep-down, in the dumps of melancholy, misery and misfortune therefore I, in my unstoppable
well-renowned charitable mode expended a considerable amount of my own energies endeavouring to raise his socially unacceptable sullen spirit, twas a hard task I assure you, soooooo hard, tiresome if truth be told, but what are friends for? I ask of you.
I decided on a speedy strategy of highlighting just how fortuitous he was by informing him of the plights of those of his
not-quite-evolved-kind that were not so blessed but in order to not be thrusting your good self into said dumps or states of alarms I shall be brief in relating the following conversation.
“ Well yours truly, blah, blah, entered laboratory, blah, blah, blah, bore witness, blah, blah, blah, poor monkeys, beagles blah, blah, blah rabbits, enslaved pets. pets everywhere, blah, blah, cigarettes 100’s nay billions a day, yada, yada wreaking havoc on constitutions, blah, blah, blah, cankers everywhere, blah, blah, couldn’t wait to escape, yada, yada, sad, so sad, blah, blah, cascara, eyes smarting, blah, blah, blah, pet eyes, watering, blah, my eyes brimmed with tears, I making unpleasant contact with unyielding obstacles, blah, blah bounder, cads, blah, blah, science me foot, yada, yada yada, profits, profits, profits, at expense of pets, yada, yada, blah, blah. must stop, blah, blah, too horrific, blah, falling prey to a faint, blah, mans inhumanity to both man and beast is too horrific to further relate and there I stop my dear readers lest I do indeed succumb to the threatened light-headed languish.
Such news brought about an incident of hair raising, literally, alarm as you can evidence on my pet pal so I said so "Let's be making amends and be attending to this coif, its fair making a merry old mockery of your monkey chops". I further stated "You know, there are some cruel cads might imply, nay! downright suggest you were of the slap-headed variety, some would, not me, I wouldn’t dream of bestowing you with a non-too-nice nom as slap-head, twould be cruel, might incur a complex, nay tis the action of others, not yours, always benevolent, truly, slap-head! I ask you, indeed what kind of pal would I be to bandy such a title in your direction. Why twould be enough on top of the news just imparted to bring about a disposition of your nervous system and knock your self esteem into a cocked hat, that’s what society does these days you know full of cads and bounders who chip, chip, chip away at your self esteem, some for profits, some to disguise their own, actually evident, lack and others for blatant fun or a wager I'll bet, not me, I’m here to help, come on lets do be fixing that unsightly array that festoons your face, a bit of wizardry with a brushed implement and that large expanse of domed brain-casing will, to all but those in the know, be-gone".
I ventured further to my still miserable mate, "Have you been the hapless victim of an overdosage of the rays-de-Soleil my intermittently bronzed chum, well a tip to you friend from me, your true chum, whilst the sporting of optical accessories of sun be-gone benefit can catapult even a past-all-hope type to a fashionable state of uber-cool tis not advisable when basking like a lounging lizard on a sun scorched spot, why tas incurred a right old comical effect upon your visage, tis all I can do to not roar with laughter, well lets attend to those barely there tressess and pass off the eyes as `The Vogue`, there’ll no doubt be buffoon bimbettes coveting en masse for such a patched pair if we say tis the latest look from Milan or as sported by Bratney".
You know dear reader I was unstoppable with my philanthropic gestures and rambled on
"Meant to say that’s a snazzy little retro knit from hankered after by-gone days, I adore such knits, not too keen on crochet though it’s a veritable limb trap, why folks have been known to lose their digits through a grim entanglement with an, at first glance, homely, often garish, garb or home spun haberdashery piece, That aside tis wise to be thrifty in such an Insolvent society as is inflicted on these times. You know I. feel uplifted to have been such a benefit to your blighted self, you really are most fortunate to have such a kindly friend, wish I had such, stop your fidgety jigging it effects me nerves and wipe those rivers from your comical eyes."