Well! this picture harbours one memory that does readily temper my blood to boiled degree. I was for rather less monetary reward than someone of my Star calibre deserves, not only keeping a watchful eye, albeit intermittently while foraging the domesticated area for lush bars of choc or savoury snacks, on this winsome twosome, but also providing quality entertainment by engaging the pair in a session of crafts. I had only furrowed my handsome visage in the aforementioned domestic cabinetry for, lets say ermmm three bars of lush choc, 1 bag of savoury snacks and was halfway through a pack of Oreos when a piercing sound of apparent displeasure caused me almost waste an Oreo by ingesting in its complete state.
Lest there should be burglars running amok, helping themselves to booty and tying up the tiny two in true burglary mode, I tippytoed stealthily, to steal a cursory glance on my hasty departure to the rear exit when I saw it was none other than the luvverlee laydeee of the house arrived home and in a furious state. Curious as to why her apparently halted excursion had incurred her wrath I boldly approached the somehow no longer quite so luvverlee laydeee this of course was a superficial state due in the main to her bug eyed, beet coloured, bizzarlee contorted visage.
I recall not the string of expletives that followed but suffice to say the rapid gesticulations performed conveyed a message of somewhat displeasure as a result of what you witness in the picture above. I of course on observation sprang to the defence of, the now apparently branded, perpetrators and highlighted the fact out that madam should be highly delighted with such a truly creative pair of offspring.
WHY! they had the aesthetic foresight to choose a neutral shade and if madam were to purchase a cheap but complimentary rug and scatter cushion combination, either non would be wiser or she could quite readily boast of their undoubted prodigious creativity and actually if she bandied my name during any such conversation she could pass this incident off as a Star, not mere celebrity, make over.
MORE! expletives that I think were relative to the soiled screen of the family entertainment source at the rear of the room and tears I think for a lost weekend fest of ‘I love Lucy’. I mentioned a highly reliable report at www. something or other that quite clearly lays blame on such devices for killing the art of conversation, destroying family bonds, and stifling creative longings and put forward my argument that had she not noticed that once turned off her delightful offspring had turned instantly to expend time on such stifled talent.
Favour could not even be curried by my attempt to coquette and cast my famous glad eye of woo in her direction, no not the merest hint of a swoon, she had an admirable capacity to withstand the love-look of Lem. Momentarily concerned by this apparent lack of desired result I stopped all attempts and to save face told her I had ricked my leg joint and think there was a savoury treat in my left and by now rapidly blinking optical organ.
Suffice to say I left without my, what was Dickensian anyway, payment but only after I had dutifully informed her that her rapid halt to the artitistc exhiuberance of her youthful offspring could etch a mental scar for perpetuity bearing upon them an unreasonable fear of paint, pen and potted fluids of any density. Oh and I kindly recommended she bathe the pet in a spirit or turps based solution or for environmental conscience shave him, there’s no end to my charitable nature.