Heavens to murgatryd, there was yours truly relishing a well earned respite from my entertainment duties by partaking in an evening perambulation along the sandy highway, keeping my optical organs Heaven bound in prudent watch on the underbellies of those dastardly winged dispensers of excremental ammunition lest yours truly should fall foul of these flying foes, when without any considerate warning an obstruct ional bodily force did subject me to a most unwelcome assault, and obvious assumption that my good self under threat of vigorous attack ensured the, Why! most cowardly to ambush from the rear, perpetrator was made aware of my albeit, limited, martial art defence skills, and before turtles and Chan could be bandied for comparison yours truly was subjected to further trauma.
There before yours, utterly amazed, truly was a surely undo-able predicament whereby the vigorous villain, whom I readily informed that I would absolutely ensure shoulder all the blame, and ironically the said shoulders had room for such as now without doubt permanently dislodged from this usual perch and lain neatly at his feet was his, ginger topped, which no doubt accounts for fiery uncontrollable temper, head, I politely, which I think was commendable due to his now double shock upon my person, brought to his recall my turtley-chan warning and also realised perhaps I should not have claimed such modest skills as I had Cleary wreaked havoc upon said villain.
a multitude of momentarily, responsibility reliving, scenarios sprang to mind and I, confused, with shame and admiration for my rapid guile weighed up a few possibilities , after discounting the notion a ceremonious chant and jig might conjuring up quicksand, I scavenged about in the hope of chancing upon a sturdy piece of salvage which might improvise as an excavation implement to bury the evidence but such luck was as far out as the, ooops! actually quite rapidly approaching, tide and yours truly couldn’t consider breaking his nails by digging with own bare hands as that would surely would lead to an unsightly hand display.
Perhaps a conniving heart rending cry for aid whereby I portrayed the fact that I was still under the villainous attack then should their be a forthcoming witness would readily assume and lend credence to the fact that a reasonably zealous counter act of self defence was a duly mitigating circumstance.
I could inform the mother her offspring was overly clumsy why twas a known fact exuberant youths were always breaking things and pondered upon the possibility of offering her a consoling arm about her person and timely offer of a pup as compensation, but dispensed with this instaneously as of course I would have to find a abounded-pooch pound ASAP as yours truly wanted no monetary detriment in the procuring of such pup
Beginning to abandon hope I informed young red-head(less) I must venture for suitable assistance, ensuring I remind him on whose , now headless shoulders the blame did lie, but said I bore no ill will as he had clearly suffered and that I would bring back a delicious vanilla iced treat Nay! a knockerbocker glory, all in the duplicitous knowledge that yours truly was hot footing it at fastest capable sprint from the place de evidence.