Wishing you a fine day my good friends, today’s blog came about as I chanced upon this pictorial extract from my memory album.  Oft it is that I am called upon, by the not so fortunate in romantic endeavours, and begged pitifully to divulge the secrets of my success in the aforementioned sport.

Well my good friend was feeling rather down as romance appeared to have long gone run off and was but a jaded memory and he came to my good self in a rather sorry plight.   

I would roar with laughter at my cheesy chums comical countenance above but tis sad for my friend that he is not in possession of any redeeming attributes of attraction as is yours, truly blessed in that department, truly   AKA  Yours, no problem with wooing, truly.   My mammal mate's wildly cast, left, but right to as you bear witness, optical organ is not the ultimate of wooing tools but we pass it off as comical charm which is a plus for those looking for the good sense of humor factor as it instantly breaks the ice but if not followed up with a succession of witty banter does then take on the lurrve repelling effect of lunacy.    

On this particular occasion Aqualad, as we shall call him, to keep his identity confidential, did place a request for knowledge of my renowned routines de Woo and how best to optimise his own, if any, wooing tools, such tools are known ordinarily as optical organs, non repugnant dentistry, and some, even if only a mediocre measure of, charm to name but a few, actually though I usually find it unnacceptable when one blows ones own trumpet, I will anyway, therefore yours, momentarily lacking modesty, truly being a natural wizard of Woo, does scarce feel the need to resort to these techniques and my tools are honed to perfection and therefore naturally attract my coveted lurrve with effortless natural charm.  

For those of you who have, limited, long forgotten or if as I have evidenced many times, not a chance, type wooing skills please feel free to use these but please do leave a named credit

I have a number of techniques in my repartee but as with all artisans prefer not to disclose all secrets of my trade so will just relate three as told to my chum

First I taught my pal 'the coquette', this is in the main used by laydeees, both luvverlee and not so, to attract coveted objects de desire but I do like to perform the occasional coquette myself just for the sauce of it therefore believe it does have a place in the manly domain.  Well the laydee usually or as afore-mentioned even manly, or not so, males even might practise this in a number of ways but we will briefly discuss two.  

The first practise does have the coquette(or) act in natural coy fashion whereby they do incline the head at a bashful tilt, and may titter in a most agreeable, if practised artfully, detrimentally irritating if not, fashion, whilst simultaneously practising intermittent batting of optical organ lids.  A second practise is executed with a rather more deliberate manipulative intent but chaps do foolishly fall prey to this successful technique of a full on, come hither stance, a tad too wanton by my standards, and usually a last resort when the object of ones desires casts a glance in other directions often towards a ball involved sport therefore it may be effective but not without side effects as the other party particularly if of chappish nature does realise he might well hold the upper hand.  

The bodily stance of both modes does tend to involve the strategic and articulated placing of both the arms and legs at what could be construed ungainly angles if not practised with art.

Second we have the glad eye - again this may be practised in a number of manners from a saucy glint and subtle nod of the head to a full on tilt and come hither and accompanying full on, bat of the opticals, wink, wink. 

Finally for today, as evidenced above the supposedly complimentary facial, nay comical if not correctly applied, effect whereby only a side, either left or right as there’s no right or wrong, part of the mouth with wooing sound tchhck tchhck with any number of accompanying near Neanderthal phrase such as the one evidenced above and actully one of least vulgarity 'owright darling', this technique is the least affective and most offensive of the 3 practises discussed to day and therefore is for limited and near desperate use only 

Well I would just like to add my chum is currently footloose and fancy free, has GSOH when not wallowing in self romance less pity, on the wallowing side does tend to do so also in mudded banks and murky river depths, is of slender physique has all own fur and teeth the latter which are of exceptional standard and can make short work of any piscine dish or titbits of river offal, which I might add can incur repugnancy issue havoc with his oral hygiene, in a jiffy whether for legitimate feasting or manly display for wooing impressionable parties  WLTM pretty much any available other otter, or species in fact, instantly available for wooing excursions and enjoys the great outdoors, swimming, fishing and generally larking about. I would like to add he is in need of some TLC.