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subsribe to LemMeOuts funny picture  of the day

Well there was yours truly walking down the street thanking the Great Governor of the universe for all my good fortune, why he had bestowed me with exceptional handsomeness, astounding entertainment qualities and well my dentistry, an essential part of my courting equipment, was second to none, he ensured I enjoyed a robust constitution, had a beloved  family, good friends and to boot he had invented chocolaty treats which I vehemently believe that, and will challenge any such obstinate body to a two minute round of fisticuffs if they challenge this claim, twas on my sole behalf.   I daily do practise my gratitude’s to the aforementioned great Governor for such abundance.  Well as I ambled along wallowing in warm fuzziness with a family, nay! troop, sized bar of said chocolaty treat gripped firmly within my left and strongest arm for fear of rogues who might try to divest me of my prized booty when without out any warning but with an abundance of appalling shock that did jangle every last one of my delicate nerves, lay, in my path, a feral beast in shameless display of drunken debauchery selfishly spoiling my beautiful day.  I was midst a mental torrent of ponderous rant of “why! the cad, what right has he to selfishly and blatantly thrust his misery upon my good self,  he should be secreted down an alley so I continue in my pleasure, but now I have to wrest with my infernal and unrelenting conscience that do keep plaguing me and which I dare not put to rest for fear I be repaid with instant karma oh the truly selfish cad", when all of a sudden my minds chatter was hushed as yours, now tormented, truly, did note a familiarity about the debris bedecked dude Why, this could not be, this littlest of hobos, was masquerading as my old competitor in the dramatic arts of motion picture luvvydom.   Yes a cat cad who had many a time in his younger days robbed me of a number of entertainment roles with his, “ooooooh I’m sooooo cute, resist me never you hapless human” looks, well I admit for a momentary instance I did almost gloat "Why you robbed me innumerable times you bounder, many are the coveted parts you did pilfer from my promised person" but nay! I thrust that impertinent thought right out of my near victom to shallowness mind and allowed my charitable heart to the fore for this fellow friend. "Well!" I did declare  “I’m speechless, I am well and truly struck dumb, why I could not utter a word if I tried, I have been rendered devoid of any utterances, I have been robbed of my ability to speak, if I could utter a word I would be shocked at such ability, why I have never been so less able to muster a sound what on earth would I say if I could"  then due to the lack of able-ness of speech  I did prod my inebriated buddy from a lengthy distance lest his pitiful state belie a wild wastrel ready to pounce on unsuspecting fools but no, sadly twas no such wastrel.   I did, with a genuine and not familiar lump in my throat and I swear misted and moistened optical organs, know without doubt  it was indeed my old chum and in genuine decline nay! destruction.    I regained my lost verbal ability and enquired, "friend, what has brought about this dastardly situation" and he did thankfully respond and say "LemMe is that you LemMe?  why! it is you lemMe, oh! how well you look” but I did kindly hush him as I did harboured no necessity for his energies to be squandered on what must now surely be my wickedly taunting handsomeness. “Oh LemMe that you should see me in such a non redeemable state, how you must be gloating well I do declare I have done you wrong and did use all artful practises to best you in pursuit of shallow parts and now I lay here, my only friends these constantly replenished bottles of devilishly delicious but evil beverage that is a constant salve to my wounded sole and, and these little carcinogenic chemical compounds that curiously do, as well as harm, calm, my constitution to a bearable degree.  Oh LemMe pass me by and let me wallow not only in my self pity but these rodent droppings and selfish social debris. "Hush friend, said I in throttled voice, I will hear no such talk, I will offer you my hand to raise you from your prone position nay! I will carry your weary form if necessary and will feed you and offer you shelter, we are all one and let none, most of all us once competitive comrades forget that".  Well here I was in my finest role, The Friend, all the past and recrimination forgotten and we did wend slowly towards my Starry abode as my once wastrel now ward did relate his passage from popularity to poverty at the hands of a shallow and uncaring society.   It transpires that the seemingly illustrious business of show business on whose boards we had both tread did cast of off 'the long gone youth, and the were you really ever cute, why surely you jest' as disposable commodities, there was always a new cute kitty with looming eyes and insatiable hunger for success and he should, he admitted have treated his lot with more respect   At this point I did point out the unavoidable karmic comeback which had without doubt paid a visit as the great Governor of the universe does give gladly but does take away when he does notice such lack of respect.    "That’s not all" he continued "I have never conformed to my stereotype LemMe I harbour no predatory or macho desires to hunt mice and especially those winged devils birds why truth be told they all terrify me with their unnatural swiftness and airborne powers, tis not natural unless you’re a fat bellied 747 or superhero, but society expects me to be what I cannot and this compounds my mental torment, I’m good inside LemMe, God knows I’m good inside." Well yours, inspired, truly said, "friend together we will, brave the future, why look at me I do not let my unusual form, my socially inappropriate colour, my lack of acceptable achievements rob me of the pleasure of my self, why I daily indulge in the pleasure of appreciating and reflecting on my own unique attributes and absolute bother to the uncaring world who does not accept me". Well we ate heartily and we discoursed for a lengthy time and as re-formed friends did unashamedly share tears and best forgotten pasts and make a pact of brotherhood to embark on the ever surprising but potentially wonderful future with an avowed bond of selfless unity and did feel warmed in each others humbled presence until my weary no longer wastrel friend did yawn and stretch in that familiar and still elegant catly manner and say "I must sleep now LemMe" and I the good friend said "let me aid your slumber" and did turn off the light to which my almost childlike chum did howl "LemMe I need light ,I fear the dark it brings about hauntings of my imagination that only the light can erase". With that yours, the new and quick witted saviour, truly, well truth be told not wanting a disruption of own slumbers necessary for aiding my handsomeness, and  I did have a casting for a highly coveted part at noon ,did shine a concentrated torchlight directly into his no longer charmingly effective or oversized optical organs and not a muff was heard till morning, only now yours, riddled with pesky conscience, truly did wonder if the pursuit of maintaining my tools of my shallow profession rather hasty towards my in need of TLC chum and I think the answer was, yes ye egocentric rotter as not a wink did I sleep, due also in part to interminable pondering on the riddle of the whereabouts my stray cacao treat, last known whereabouts in my secure grip as I did selfishly help my hapless mate, and my Samaritan type act did have this severe repercussion, and the fatigue did riddle and ravage my handsome features, the casting was a disaster and, won, would you believe, by a looming eyed barely born kit-kat whom I’m sure without doubt was named karma.

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