Good day fine friends. Today’s picture is a brutal reminder of a visit to a supposed friend and thankfully not foe’s territory.

I hope you are not intimidated into submission as I was by my barely-born-fogey-friend here who bandied about his biddings in barking mad Bilko’d style.  Yes the young bounder was a bit too bossy for yours, loving it easy,truly’s sensitive constitution and after a not too lengthy time I was all a-jitter as my jangled nerves were thrown into, I felt, irreparable disarray and I felt intermittent and overwhelming urges to inspect my pockets for my fiscal state in order to ensure that in my now nervy-fatigued state I had not been relived by this battled-fatigue-fashioned bilko-esque buddy in such Bilko'd wager-type-exercise that had perhaps gone un-noticed as a result of perhaps again a Bilko-type-buddy-bewilderment drill rendering me oblivious to his wily ways.

Well after being instructed to quick, in speed and regrettably not length, March as, don’t you find, beings of this age come equipped with unnatural capabilities to out-stamina all others, for no less than 100 circuits of the yard whilst delivering, oh! Probably, 200 renditions of the verse

We're in the Army now.
We’re not behind a plough.
We’ll never get rich diggin’ a ditch.
We're in the Army now.

because my friends that’s another unnatural trait of such young character cads, the desire, ability, necessity whatever in almost cultish trance like devotion to hear the same ditty over and over and over and over and over and over and …..oh heck its catching!, without going doo-lally tap as normal beings would.

This was unmercifully followed by a covert manoeuvre about the yard in search of feline, canine and apparently leghorn-yard-fowl-type enemy.  I was then subjected to a, surely far too brutal, assault course consisting of a trek through, for bizarrely only yours, I think permanently scarred as a result, truly, as said bossy type did perhaps a tad wisely only watch, a yes, admittedly, extremely prolific and pretty, but none the less painful shrub of thorned rose variety in an apparent character building exercise, further followed by 10 laps of a pool for apparent paddling purpose only.  This was my first unsuccessful attempt to swim, appalling attempt to float but despite only 6 inches of water, successful sink, then before I was remotely recovered, I was brutally, yes! do you hear! brutally! forced to swing or climb, I know not what for sure, as existence by now was a blurry haze, a twine of indeterminate girth that did burn my sensitive bodily surface covering when I slid down without intent further creating weal’s but of far more sizable length than afore-mentioned thorned type, well by now I was weakened to such a state that I willingly succumbed when my combat chum, in admittedly true heroic style, did rescue me by my heels and did drag me painfully over the gravel (I have faint recall of thoughts of dread of additional scarring) path and to the mess hall whereupon he did spoon feed me, well in a fashion familiar to one of such youth, and I can only count blessings that such a youthful diet is low in sodium therefore with fodder amok my handsome visage with its fresh weals there was not the familiar acceleration of pain from such a a salt & gash combo.  Said fodder was a mash of creamed broccoli and pureed bananas, not together thankfully, followed by a Farley’s rusk which I thoroughly enjoyed, and even in my invalid state did muster up the energy to bawl like an appropriate baby until I did receive another such delish edible.  

When recovered through such sustenance, yours in favour of peaceful protest, truly did abscond, desert, run-off, whatever with an absolutely shameless display of conscientious objection and did grab a welcomed and newly washed white sheet of colossus size from its line and a afore-mentioned white leghorn from the yard which I plucked in transit to hold up my symbols of peace and appallingly cowardice which ironically show my brave nature by such unashamed -daring default.

Yes I personally prefer to engage in the wonders of woo and friendly-to-all-endeavour, not ways of warring, as I believe most do, but hats off respectfully to all brave hearts past, present and possibily future who on behalf of all such fainthearts, fops or simply far too friendly types do partake in this pointless yet ironically necessary for protection practise whether through patriotism of whichever global geographical group you have membership of, or purely gratefully for the selfrespect of a job. With that I finish as I keep having flashbacks of thornded bushes and gravelled paths,  oooooH I feel fain........