Funny picture with blog of the day - The Cat with Less Than Acceptable Laughing Tackle Envy Endevour 

Good-day my fine friends today I relate to you a short tale of envy, fiscal lack and an admirable curbing of addictive desires.   I had visited my entertainment contemporary and pet-pal and on sight of said pal heaved a sigh of relief for my foresight of, on this occasion, being equipped with the appropriate hair harnessing apparatus as his, otherwise appealing, covering of feline fur had a number of irregular sweeps and tufts

One would readily assume he, in all innocence, sported the appearance of an unfortuitous victim of a wayward air-waft from a carelessly opened door or from a bypassing breeze through a negligently attended to window but no!  I swear the bounder had dishevelled himself on purpose knowing full well I would have to struggle with the turmoil of having to forgo the almost uncontrollable hankering to harness his wayward cat-wrapping due to his apparently, and inconvenient, distressed disposition.

Yes he disclosed that he suffered from a harbouring of envious feelings at my own sporting of exceptionally fine wooing gear as it transpired that a considerable lapse of time had passed without any success from his endeavours in the age old art of woo.   My pal had, through fiscal lack due to not much entertainment work, brought about a blight of unsightly mouth display therefore consequentially repelling the very objects de desire he wished to lure for purposes of bestowing with lurve.  

I therefore lent my pal, no, not the finances to purchase cosmetic replica's of my own choppers, but an occasionally spare and still well bristled bit of equipment made of real plastic that I no longer used for oral hygiene therefore I was more than prepared to part with it, but, for 28 days a month only as I always spent at least one weekend of any such calendar occurence briskly whizzing it, in a once-over mode, over a surprisingly large number of intricate domestic crevices that harbour incredulous mountains of mucky residues.  I assured him it had only had two owners my good-self and ironically another cat chum who had merely used it for untangling clags of intimate kind but discontinued with its quite harsh use in such a tender region therefore it came with no sanitary endorsement.  I then instructed him in, and supplied him with generous quantity of suitable paste for, the best restoration process of his remaining pegs to an hopefully un-gaggable state.

I had to caution him that should my laughing gear ever cease to perform its bewitchery I do have a more than modest amount of other equally enviable qualities, therefore had to ensure he was aware that an improvement in his own gnashing tackle most surely would not on its own merit result in a success rate equivalent of yours truly and he therefore might not, in this dalliance with vanity, be able to bid goodbye to lurve-lack misery and banish the, opressive to all, air of  gloom.   Sadly not all can be gorgeous bounders but thankfully I can lounge back, inhale a hearty sigh of relief and rest assured in my good fortune.