Ah!, upon this occasion yours truly, had been coincidently passing the 'place to be' non other than the not yet grand, actually if truth be told rather shabby, in need of a lick of perhaps a fetching and calm inducing shade of periwinkle blue paint, bureau of said truly’s agent, to the stars, Isaac Howboy infamous variety entertainment reprenstative of aspiring and still aspiring and some incredulously ever hopeful persons of performing arts. I had kindly considered it would save quite significant cost to the fine chap in saving what would surely be a lengthy telephone conversation to inform me of the no doubt numerous number of scripts offered to my, highly coveted self, to peruse and pick with pampered choice.
On entering the room of, as afore-said. established gloom I happened upon a quad of kitty siblings possessed of quite hmmmm! far tooooo cute, and apparently seriously lucky to boot, appearance. I quickly deduced this cat quartet were bestowed also with an obvious, yet not apparent to moi, performing gift as what other explanation could be formed for their pet presence in the otherwise, not frequented by persons of sound inclination, establishment and were no doubt conniving to take the very hard earned proverbial crust earning work, from under my not unduly inquisitive nose.
It came to light through applying attentive guile in the form of feigned nonchalance yet finely attuned attent, that their artistic accomplishments are unlimited and almost supernatural , It transpired throughout the now disturbing discussion they were possessors of a mystical power far superior to that of the famed magic circle of super dupery, whereby they bestow a bounty of finest fortune upon those who’s paths they fancy to cross.
They openly bragged of an aerodynamic ability to perform manouvres with enviable agility and would you believe, I noted from a stolen cursory glance at their overly crammed resumes they perform as a harmonious quartet of catty (what moi) choristers.
Well yours, talented and not in the bit perturbed, truly harboured no other thoughts than to offer amicable advice and show goodly sportsmanship with some congenial banter and therefore asked had they see the filming afoot on the set downstairs, there was I informed, some notably cute and accomplished kit-Kats acting their adorable hearts out and far be it from me to put a cat among the pigeons, or other competitive cats, but they were pretttteee good from what I had evidenced. Well faster than had there been a moving mousey feast they were, at the notably not corner or even sufficient for all four, agency window and I do believe began instantaneously performing some kind of satanic hex as they in perfect sync appeared to be conveying death ray stares through optical trickery. I defy you to disclaim this from the evidence above.
It was at this point I thought perhaps a brisk bodily friction fest might just enhance my own prosperous fortune, not that I subscribe to such poppycock but, as with four times the average opportunity why only a simplet would pass over this opportune moment. I inclined forward under the pretext of an enhanced vision and jiggied up and down to intermittently make unsuspecting bodily contact to enhance the luck touch and would you believe it suddenly the quart were a trio. Only the sharpest of reflex senses would have witnessed the rapid and sad demise of what surely must have been a duff puss as why, not only had it boasted of abundantly bestowed good luckkery it was one of the famed of nine lives brigade, I! can not, and darn well will not, shoulder any responsibility for the fact that this obviously unappreciative cat had carelessly made use of 8 of these prior to this unfortunate happening, why! I was not bestowed with such trickery as these braggarts had claimed, had I been, I might well have read now demised duff dudes mind, and, strictly between you and I this competitive sport need not have taken place.
There followed an altercation that was performed on the aforementioned sill, with a rather amused Nay! rowdy and seemingly uncontrollably swelling congregation in evidence, all baying for favoured combatants, though my fanatics could not be heard for the rowdy cries of the allies of the, non other than glorified, alley gang.
Yours truly was studded with performing pets, performing with, yes, I must readily agree the promised amazing agility, from all directions and with no chance of any good fortune having had the misfortune to rub the duff luck charm, harboured fears this would be a permanent state, and sprang to mind the notion had it been an amicable encounter might well have been the makings of performance extraordinaire, but no the ferocious beasts had stapled their claws and fangs to my vulnerable person and were burrowing deeper as was my despair.
thankfully out the timely blue, my dear agent (to the stars) came to my, nearly not needed, aid, and tempted the now trio off with numerous compensatory promises and only because I realised after the event, he had finally landed a role for yours, almost too demised, truly, in would you believe, an Ad for cat fodder. I managed to graciously decline and suffice to say yours truly felt an onslaught of faint heart and came to 24 hours later face down in the seeping of my own unattended sores