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Good day my fine friends today’s picture comes with a disclaimer from my good-self waiving all liability for inadvertently repulsing, instead of the intended entertaining, you.    Why I was Out & About when I chanced upon this scantily clad, and if not so frighteningly freaky, comical cad.
Well I was taken quite aback, yes I literally reeled with discomfort and repulsion. lost total control of my usual charming manner and did launch forth an uncharacteristic rant of uncomplimentary attack.  

“Why Sir“, yes I managed to maintain this courtesy,  “you appear the hapless victim of a vicious, exceedingly pinching but carefully coordinated laggy-band-bandit, shenanigan , now let me clarify Sir, I mean an untoward event by a regular sized gang of bandido types using circulatory detrimental bands of elastic nature and in no way want to you to misconstrue this fact and assume I am casting aspersions as to the diminutive stature of the said band of villains who had performed this misuse of regular sized said elastic bands, which would be a ludicrous assumption, not that the cads were short in stature but that the bands were of regular size given the bizarrely bulbous state your person has been deformed to and please allow me, yes I still maintained a degree of respect, to further clarify Sir, by regular sized gang of bandits I mean of ordinary non notable-comment-inducing height not a defamatory statement as to the popularity of membership.

Sir to achieve this freakish over development of muscular tissue you have clearly succumbed to the use of steroid enhancement and as such is often derived from the Mexican sarsaparilla root why I feel like campaigning against this abuse of this vegetation which can be put to far better use when making effervescent, or not, beverages or  medicinal elixirs to beneficially boost the constitution.   I am concerned has to how your beloved ones or mere associates have let this come to pass, yes they might out of sheer love or even negligent want of care encouraged  this ludicrous state which is nothing less than an uber and irregular massed aberration of muscular and intermittent bodily bulges and your mammaries whilst tis admirable they require no support tis not manly to sport such a fine pair.

Why your people do cavort about barely garbed, laboriously and pointlessly hauling all kinds of, often multi-deckered, automobiles with nought but your dentistry or other bodily bits tis wholly unnatural behaviour and I’m sure highly irregular abuse of a truck or bus.”  Now I know not at what point he realised offence but the words incredible hulk did appear to create a reactionary result and the next I knew   I appeared to suspend from his gruesome grasp as if nought but fluff well yours both quick and scared witted did quickly impart that he might be the subject of ridicule if evidenced lifting such a trivial load why I dread to assume what foppish title might be bestowed and with the desired result as he speedily released hold of my suspended person and I did in gravitational pull descend rapidly to the floor and subsequently into a concussed state therefore I fear I can relate no more. 


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